Tips:

So you found a great new ewrestling federation, eh? Yeah sure, it has a pretty logo, a healthy sized roster, and a president who's looking forward to making this groovin' new creation a major league contender. Heck, let's even say that this proposed new organization isn't even on a Geocities or Tripod address, which of course is an enigmatic, if not impossible finding in an infant ewrestling promotion -- though, I lament. Everything up to here seems happenin', right? Wrong, Daddy-O.

At second thought, you re-plan your strategy. Carefully articulating what sort of federation you'd prefer. The decision rests finally upon one of those other ewrestling promotions, you know, the ones that have been around for awhile and supposedly hold some claim as being "one of the best", or whatever the hell that means. By this point, said organization most likely has acquired indeed a scale of acceptance, to which they even deny wrestlers who come along, attempting to apply not knowing the difference between "their" and "there." Quickly scanning over the Web site, you see well written cards, updated pages, and a sizable staff. Things are looking up, aren't they? You've actually discovered a promotion that boasts having at least some semblance of standard. This means you've found a good efed, right? Wrong, punk.

Of course, without really enrolling yourself into either ewrestling federation scouted, you can't be exactly sure of it sucking yak-testicles ...just yet. Absent mindedly, you join. Low and behold, the promotion isn't what it was hyped as being, or possibly bragged that it could be. Now you're stuck. Having traveled both routes, and coming up with a zero in both companies, it seems inevitable that you will bere the burden of most ewrestling lackeys these days; shadowed with the outcome of having to begin that endless search for a decent federation. The rookies of this hobby have it the worst, not knowing the difference between a quality formed efed, and one of those created on the whim of a twelve year-old, seventh grade drop-out. Though, it has been said many o' times that it's most likely for the best, as everyone must 'learn the ropes' somewhere. However, for those of us who have been to numerous organizations, finding nothing but the mediocre, this problem can be quite a nerve-racker. Ewrestlers also can form a bad rap, as it were, for joining multiple federations, soon after leaving due to the ineptness that the organization was run with. An unfortunate label for sometimes unworthy ewrestlers simply searching for a groovin' place to gain a good laugh or humorous story-line, created with even a fleeting amount of maturity.

To those traveling the path of disillusioned ewrestling let-downs, let it be known, there is hope. In my four years of experience in this silly hobby, near three of which I've spent presiding over a federation; realizing the differences between a possibly well equipped organization, and a substance handicapped one, have all but become little secrets that can only be seen with a trained eye. So in an attempt to ease the burden of solving these formulas on your own, I've decided to unveil some of the conspiracies that plague an ewrestling promotion. Or in other words, the little secrets you should be looking for that many efederation presidents try to hide. Ah yes, the secrets.

The Web Site:

First of all, it should be noted that just because an ewrestling organization's home page looks pretty, doesn't mean that it is a federation built upon quality. Some of the most intelligent, well-crafted wrestling shows you'll read, and presidents that you're sure to meet, will have a few of the god damned ugliest Web site's on the Internet. But as a majority over minority sake, those who are apt at handling themselves professionally with Photo Shop, or Image Composer, usually tend to be more or less on the higher end of ewrestling's spectrum.

1. Easiest of all that can be detected from a mentally challenged fed-head, is his/her inability to spell words consisting of a mere five letters. If you land on a Web site, and their opening caption is plagued with misspellings, no matter how pretty the home page may look, it's a good bet that the organization is going to eat goat-terds, and is run by a fool. Likewise, if you spy more than two misspellings on the home page anywhere in particular, the same would apply. Only fools are too lazy to spell-check.

2. A pattern-less page can result in pure idiocy of its president. Most ewrestling Web sites that you land on, having no articulation of its format, is a sign of blatant stupidity for the most part. Head for the hills, joining this federation could get sloppy.

3. Land on an organization with over one hundred thousand hits on its counter, while looking like nothing short of excreted waste from your toilet? Split as soon as possible. Any fed-head willing to cheat his home-page counter is a complete bufoon, if not simply a severe dork.

4. What has been growing into common sense as of late, with a certain prowrestling federation rising in popularity, any efed you may encounter with the word "Extreme" in its name can be dismissed as run by a lame-brain wrestling mark. You'd have a more productive time in trying to debate a homosexual to become straight than joining this sham of a promotion.

5. In the end, it really comes down to if the home-page confuses you, not providing a route for easy navigation, it is most likely a poorly presided organization. Skip it; there are better things to waste your time on. The content:

There is a large quantity of secrets you can find on the Web site of a scouted ewrestling organization, revealing the intentions of its president. These aren't so much blatant to those who have never been in a position of 'leadership' status in a federation, although I'm sure you will be able to make the identifications after they are listed.

1. You've discovered an ewrestling promotion that has said to been running for a few months now, with its home-page appearing relatively neat and organized. Not sure whether you should join? The first thing that should be done is to check out the wrestling cards, and glance over whether or not they blow. There are no gray areas here. They either suck pig-nipples, or they don't.

2. Scout the roster of this federation. If you notice that the general trend in wrestler names is that of legendary generics being, "The Gangster" or "Death Angel", you should at this point run for your life. These example names usually incite that the president has very little, if no standards of acceptance. Joining this sort of organization will make you acquaintances with surefire intelligent conversationalists such as, "Stone Cold" Tim Timmy, Jerry "The Hitman" Roberts, or one of my own personal favorites, "Z-Pac."

3. A useful detective trick would be to email a member on the roster, and discover if the president has himself a character in the organization, as they sometimes do. Then take a little trip on down to the "Title History" page of the federation. If the president's character has held any of the head championships, it would do you best to move on. It's never a good sign for any ewrestling promotion where the president's character has held a top title. Never a good sign at all.

4. In the same token, after joining, you might notice that a certain group of four to five wrestlers are seen with continually getting the highest push within the federation. Let it be known that every single president of every single efed on the entire Internet has a 'clique', or a group of wrestlers that the president has been noted as either knowing the longest, or favors the most. In a grim reality, this sometimes results in newer, but definitely foundationalized ewrestlers to be looked over, or not given the same spotlight. You can discover this by also using means from the tip above. Check to see if certain wrestlers imparticular have had multiple title reigns with numerous championships.

5. Does the organization have a staff? While many will disagree with me on this one, I feel that having a staff to run an organization is not necessary, if not completely ridiculous. For the president to feel that his/her promotion needs a staff, gives way for a great amount of criticism in the federation itself. There are of course times when a small amount of help is needed in an occasional basis, which is understandable when having the duty of presiding over an efederation, but having an official staff basically means one of four very bad things;

• - That the president can no longer, nor ever was able to handle writing the bulk of what's to be done.
• - That the ewrestling promotion has far too many wrestlers strewn about its roster, forcing the president into creating a staff to make up for simply poor planning.
• - That the president regrettably does not care about angles enough to map out the plot lines of the organization on his own. Having multiple people writing cards makes for a sub-standard feeling of continuity with segueing into the next event, as well the card unity in whole.
• - And then you have the worst case scenario of all: that the president is holding back a little secret from his wrestlers -- a secret that is built around many ewrestling promotion collapses. Know that there is a grand number of ewrestling promoters out on the Internet simply looking for the 'prestige' hosting an organization brings to them. The fact that they are the 'leader' of something gives them a kind of pathetic feeling of worth. Rapid closing of federations comes from the conclusive result, that in the end, being a fed-head simply isn't worth it, if you are in fact seeking out 'prestige'. It's a damn difficult hobby, with the only perks being that of your hopeful amusement with what you've created, and the interaction in your roster. A well-crafted, intelligent ewrestler can have a darn-tooten hard time discovering a federation that matches up with the quality that they've been searching for. Many times, an ewrestler will think that they've actually found this heavenly Zen-like atmosphere, but eventually learn that their president has more than a few conflicting personality problems, and or greatly lacking common sense. The quest for a improved efed can be a rocky road for sure, but knowing how federation promoters think, along with a few of their added sneaky secrets, will hopefully help those in search of a better place. Do you know the secrets?

All credit goes to the unknown original author.