What is a flake? Most of us fedders know full well, or we have a good idea.

A flake is a person who joins your fed, shows much interest, they might even put up a flash or two and then, for some cosmic, mystical reason, they just disappear, without a trace… straight milk boxed. This happens far more often than I put commas in that last sentence. (Which is a lot)

This is a little different from a no-show. For a no-show is someone who simply doesn’t show up for an event. Doesn’t mean they vanished, just got lost for a while.

This is really nothing new, but much like the economy it’s getting worse these days according to the many people I talk to that aren’t in my head. But unlike the economy, there’s no real reason for this strange phenomenon. Wait.

One can only speculate why this happens. If you do happen to talk to the flake after a while, they usually give you some cock-brained explanation like “I was drunk”. Or “I forgot the link” or “I was drunk and couldn’t find the link”. That’s pretty much usually the end of the conversation too. It’s the equivalent of “F*ck you guy”.

Many times, I’ve heard that apparently, real life comes before ewrestling. The hell you say? I was unaware of this.

Or there’s the ever powerful whammy: My (Insert next of kin) died.

I mean, there’s no real come back for that one. You could respond like a congressman during an Obama speech and call them out for being a lying whore. But what if grammy really did die and it crippled them so much that they couldn’t bother to send you an email, or a PM, or a “Tweet”… ever.

A relative dying is a life-changing experience, I know from… um.. experience. But it usually doesn’t take away my ability to tell someone that I’m sad and cannot make my commitment. I don’t know, I just haven’t had the urge to go “Screw it” to someone and disappear. But that’s me, and I’m a prick. Maybe the right person hasn’t died yet? Dunno.It’s funny because I’ve heard more than once where someone had multiple parents die on different occasions right before the deadline.

It would be nice if people just had the ball to say that your fed stinks, and is boring and I found more enjoyment peeling the white shit from the side of my toe nails, k bye. It would be a much better world with more balls. Instead people just disappear, stop showing up and don’t even bother to make an excuse most times, or if they DO give you an excuse it’s just as uninspired as their participation.

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN, KUT?

What the hell am I? A mind reader? Yes, yes I am and quite good at it.

This happens for one of a few reasons, but I believe that most efedders join on pure emotion.The thing about emotions is that they might be different the next day. Emotions are a silly thing, they can morph on a whim, they can have ups and downs and they can completely transform overnight.

I’ve seen this a million times, (I counted) when a ewrestler gets all giggity-giggity and has what I call a fed-boner and joins up to some efed that got him all hot and bothered for what-ever reason. Once you realize that it was just lust, the feeling goes away and you leave a wrinkled $100 on the dresser and wander out wondering where your life went wrong and why you feel so empty inside..? Sorry, I don’t know where that outburst came from.

The feeling is similar to when you experience a “mark out moment” in pro-wrestling. There’s an adrenaline rush, a high almost. That high goes away. This is what I feel is the main cause for flakeotry.

WHAT CAN WE DO KUT?

Geez, you think I have the answer to everything, do ya? Well, I do.

Well, I tried to make a support group for flakes, but oddly enough, nobody showed up….

It’s about 20% the flake’s fault, but I say it’s 80% YOUR FAULT that someone leaves your fed.

1. Did you do everything you could to make their experience with your fed an unforgetable one?

2. Did you personalize their experience? Or did you just have a nerdgasm that someone joined and left them in the cold?

3. Did you include them in the “gang”? Because after all, we have a natural instinct to belong to something. This is why we ewrestle, and why it became so big in the first place. Did you make them feel like they belonged?

4. Did you share an intimate moment with them and discuss simple direction and angles?

If you didn’t do everything on this list, than you are to blame. Not them. Why the hell would I bother to stick around if I joined and nobody said anything to me, just expected me to wait to be booked and roleplay like a good little bitch.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!

Stop settling for less!

Damn, right it’s your fault fed-heads. You allow these low-quality, poorly scouted tripe into your fed and then you expect them to follow along?

FIRE THEM.

It sets a terrible example when a fed-head keeps a string of people that don’t give a crap about your fed on the roster just so it looks full. It gives the impression that not only do you not care about your fed, but you can be ran over like road kill.

BE A LEADER.

The most basic thing a person can do is lead, and it has the most impact.

As I’ve said in my forums, my first experience in a fed made me a leader rather than a follower because I was led. Let me make sense out of that.

My first fed-head, Eric Raines didn’t sugar coat anything just to keep me on the roster. He told me that my sample roleplay was weak and didn’t allow me into the fed. I looked to him as a boss and a leader from then on and I actually worked harder to get into this little unknown spot on the internet. He showed me how to run a fed, and I believe without him there would never be a RK. So you can send your hate mail to him.

As I was saying, his fed wasn’t the best, or the brightest, in fact I think it was just some white text on a black background and some funky music playing. But I worked my ass off to get there.

Of course, he turned out to be one of the biggest flakes I’ve ever met, but you can’t win ‘em all.

In conclusion, YOU, the fed-head must make sure that your fed is inviting and well done and comfortable before you can go whining about someone flaking on you.

I think that’s all I have for now. If I want to add more later, I will.

Your comments are encouraged.

Discuss this topic where it began: http://roughkut.com/kamp_v3/index.php?topic=16502.0

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