Kut & Pasted News 26

Jul 26, 2009 in Kut and Pasted News, lolwrestling by Kut

I had a nice weekend; I know the four people that read this column totally wanted to hear about my weekend. I like to please the masses, you know? Yeah.

I went to a party, completely pissed off because YET AGAIN, I was asked to work late by my manager who I JUST had a discussion with about asking me to do such. We agreed that if there was a chance of us needing to work late, then he would at least give me the courtesy of letting us know early. So I have to drive an extra fucking HOUR while everyone goes home… for like the 5^th or 6^th Friday in a row. Here it is, 11 pm and I’m heading home, way too pissed to go anywhere. I shake it off and head over to my brother’s house and I’m greeted with a tray of something called “buttery nipples” or something like that. I assume there’s alcohol inside, so I drink the mysterious concoction with very little thought involved.

So two beers and a few shots later, I’m pretty much saying whatever happened to cross my mind. I called this one girl a slut… because well, all she seemed to do was talk about her sex life. I forced every chick that showed up late to dance on the spot upon entry and had a deep discussion with a group of males and females about why men don’t compliment other men’s body like women do. Overall, good shindig.

Then yesterday, I went to a friend’s house and spent all afternoon there because her home sits on a small lake (completely blanketed with these tiny green plants that looked like slime), paddle boats, a hot tub, fishing poles, horse shoes, and it’s pretty much a camp site in her backyard. Very relaxing, just to sit and enjoy the planet. You know- the parts we haven’t fucked up yet.

So today, I’m home and I am calm enough to do some writing.

Been thinking about Pro-Wrestling lately and the best I can come up with is “meh”. I’ll probably always enjoy the WWE. But I can’t say there’s much interesting going on in the last few weeks. Not much hot sticky news either. But I’ll make due as usual.

X-Pac hasn’t changed… a bit.

The first piece of news that got my attention was a short bit about “X-pac” AYA KAY AYE Sean Waltman, being himself as usual.

- He admitted shitting in Juventud Guerrera’s gym bag. How mature is that? He says that Guerrera went on a talk show and blabbed about some private crap going on in X-punk’s life. For some reason Pac said: That little fucker told me “I promise baby, I won’t tell anyone”. The epic levels of gay withstood… I am assuming it was when X-Pac failed at committing suicide. How much of a fucking failure can you be to fail at doing something like killing yourself? If you really wanted to die, there’s millions of ways to do it. Practically anything can kill you. Little shit just wants attention. Sorry, I’m not an X-pac hater really. But something about the guy just makes me rant irrationally.

- He outed 3-4 people about smoking weed. RVD, Sabu and Jack Evans. Good job, Pac… all of these guys have potential to go to the WWE. Way to ensure this won’t happen. Not that it’s a secret that RVD or Sabu are well known pot-heads. But it’s not your fucking place to air their personal business for them.

- He’s “awaken” to the conspiracy nut Alex Jones. I read about various conspiracies, especially government, frequently. But Alex Jones is a fucking nut case that does anything he can to make himself appear to have zero credibility. Even if a lot of what Jones says is true, you kind of counteract any credibility with cartoon like behavior. Yes, there’s something dark in our government going on, of course. But with zero proof, all you do is make yourself look like an ass when you go around spouting off about how “I NO THE TROOTH!!!! AND U DON’T”

- He’s banging Nidia. I guess it’s a vast improvement from Chyna, but just my personal opinion, a downgrade from Alcia Webb (Ryan Shamrock). I don’t really want to get that personal about the guy’s love life, really. But he’s a celeb and you all know my stance on celebs. You ARE public. You belong to the public and your actions, appearance and behavior are all up for scrutiny. If you want privacy, then you’d keep your trap shut. There are plenty of celebrities that get their privacy respected, by staying out of the limelight when they aren’t in front of a camera. X-pac is NOT one of those.

- So I hope the little suicidal, ex-diva porking, bag shitter does well in all his future endeavors.

Flair vs Hart

This is apparently common knowledge, somehow. Tho, I have made it a habit to read wrestling news for the last, oh, 10 years or so, I’ve never heard of this personal feud between Ric Flair and Bret Hart.

Keep in mind throughout this segment that I never watched more than maybe 2 or 3 episodes of WCW. It was just never my thing, I was always a WWE mark.

On a recent episode of Live Audio Wrestling Ric Flair addressed the heat between him and Bret Hart. He said he gets offended when people compare their careers because “he’s a nobody”. Flair said Hart was a mid carder for the WWF for fifteen years.

Wow, that’s pretty fucking strong words from a drunk with a notoriously bad temper. Wait, what am I saying? Yeah, Flair is seen as arguably the best in the business… but I’ve always seen him as overrated slightly. He’s great and all that, he’s won a LOT of championships but there’s a list of wrestlers who I think are better all around. Bret Hart is NOT one of them however. I agree with Flair. I’ve never been much for Hart. He’s always been a cry baby to me. He’s decent in the ring, but I was never amazed by him. The fondest Hart memory was giving away those plastic glasses before his matches. My grandfather was a big Hart mark, tho. I always called my grandfather the first wrestling smark. He liked Bret hart “because he never quit” way before there was an internet wrestling community. He appreciated Hart’s technical prowess instead of the theatrics and it passed down to me.

Jim Ross has also commented on this on his super useless tool blog where he occasionally reveals NOTHING to us because he always claims to never know anything. He simply hates when this well known feud rears its ugly head.

AJ Styles “injured”

On the injury list is Styles- Not exactly sure how this is considered an “injury”. Apparently he has a staph infection on his hip. Of course this has NOTHING to do with sticking filthy, over-used needles in it. Makes ya wonder how one gets an open wound on their hip that can cause an infection? Hmmm. Maybe he bumped his hip on the glass table and there was staph on the table after dinner. That’s it.

TNA finally locks one with Playboy

Good news for TNA, bad news for everyone else. Bad news is, the Playboy shoot will be Traci Brooks. She’s all tits. They ARE nice, shiny tits but there’s nothing much else alluring about Brooks. I guess she’s bringing out the extra strong tit wax for this one.

TNA ratings back up.

I guess a few folks did flip the channel from reruns to watch TNA with Taz and Lashley hoping on board. TNA hit its record number of 1.3 for the second time. I’m happy they are growing, but I wish they would stop being so fucking mediocre. Nobody gives a shit about all these has-beens that can barely even wrestle anymore. BUILD YOUR CURRENT TALENT GOD DAMNIT. None of these guys are spiking the ratings! They have Mick FOLEY and can’t even figure out anything interesting for him to do. They managed to make Kurt Angle boring. They turned Samoa Joe from an insanely over monster into some kind of a clown. They made Eric Young, who could control the fuck out of a crowd, into a generic heel with no real cause. They are keeping Abyss, who gave one HELL of a promo a couple weeks ago, in mid-card hell instead of going after MEM like he should.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjwgXJwfAac

Not the promo, I’m talking about but almost as good.

Jeff, Kurt and Karen… true soap opera.

Seems Double J can’t resist the temptations of a hot bitch, even if it means the company he founded will suffer.

Not surprisingly, Jarrett has pissed off a couple of people with his choice of company. Dixie Carter, for some reason is pissed at JJ for “lying” about banging Karen. I’m not sure how it’s her fucking business, but my guess would be because she knows Kurt is a bigger talent. Kurt is pissed, probably devastated that JJ pretty much fucked him over by bringing him on board to TNA and then banging his wife as a nice payment for Kurt’s LARGE cut in pay. Kurt is reportedly so pissed that he won’t re-sign with TNA if Jarrett is still around. Not a good look, JJ.

This is a stupid, stupid thing that Jarrett has done. Karen is pretty. Extremely pretty, but much like most pretty women, they have a goal… get a man that is as high up on the ladder as you can get. She dumped Angle for various reasons and we all thought Angle was the bad guy this whole time. At least I feel for it. Seems, you just can’t put much doubt into the manipulation of a woman who knows she’s hot.

Angle went on the Howard Stern show (That’s still on??) and admitted that Karen was having an affair while they were together. It’s almost emotional thinking about the storylines of Kurt accusing Karen of having an affair with Styles and getting “divorced” on TV- Then learning that all this was going on the whole time. Kurt signed up with TNA to help them, I’m sure the piddly money they pay him pales in comparison to the WWE. But Kurt LIED to the WWE to get out of his contract… maybe for selfish reasons… but he went to TNA and it helped them more than it helped Kurt. What a nice payment. The “founder” of TNA fucks his wife. The VP of TNA and minority owner fucks the wife of its biggest star. Nice. If I were Angle, I’d wish TNA the best in its future endeavors and go back to the WWE.

TNA announcers are worried about Tazz

Meltzer says that Tenay and everyone’s favorite announcer Don West are a little more than antsy about Tazz coming to TNA. Being Don was already turned “heel” even tho he sometimes forgets, in order to better acquaint him with the crowd. Not too many people seem to like Don for some strange reason, I can’t for the life of me think of why he’d be worried. Just because TNA recently fired long time head ref, Rudy Charles… why would they have the same loyalty for West? (One can only hope. )

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIn0GchsGo8

That’s it for today

Cheerio,

Kut