Guess what? I feel like writing! So here’s your early Christmas. What? You already have one of these? YOU UNGRATFUL BAG OF SHIT! I WORK TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE AND GIFTS UNDER THE TREE AND ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN! GO GET A DAMN SWITCH. I”LL JUST BEAT YOU WITH THIS PLASTIC TREE! THERE WON’T BE A CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR! YOU HAPPY NOW? YOU FUCKING HAPPY YOU LITTLE SHIT?

Ahem.

Not much good wrestling news lately, so there’s been nothing to really blog about. Edge got injured; I guess pretty badly which kind of sucks being that he is rumored to be officially going babyface once again. Now all we have to listen to is Jericho is this tired ass gimmick he’s running. I’m sick of Serious Jerry already. I still hate Edge’s guts forever, but nobody wants him to be injured. Well, maybe I did. But that was weeks ago. What am I saying? Fuck Edge! Our feud will NEVER DIE! NEVAH!

Rudy Charles has been fired, (I guess) from TNA. This news is always shaky, but that’s the word. He wished TNA the best in their future endeavors on MySpace, which was worth a giggle fart. I’m sure this has nothing at all to do with Earl Hebner being in the same company and not being the head referee. I wonder who will be the new head ref? Hmmm. I can only  hope they show the same loyalty to Don West when Taz shows up. Taz is not going to be a wrestler, at least not full time. Rudy’s been there since TNA began and they just don’t need him anymore? That sounds fishy to me. An experienced head ref should be exactly what TNA needs. Rudy is one of the very few Refs that I know by name. The rest might as well be jobbers.

There’s some interesting news about Hulk Hogan tossing out hints that he might actually consider TNA. I’d put a few nickels on that bet, being he has no steady source of income that I’m aware of, those royalties for Santa With Muscles can’t be paying his enormous alimony bills to his Cougar ex. Hogan demanding thousands of dollars for appearances is just about done. He’ll take whatever TNA gives him soon enough and TNA will get a boost for it. They better do it quick, Hogan’s in bad shape.

“I watch both products. (TNA’s) like the little engine that could. Everybody thought they wouldn’t be around for long, and they’ve been chugging along for seven years. They gain momentum every week. They seem to be real fresh. When a lot of guys go over to that side of the fence, they seem to get a spring in their step,” Hogan said. He also praised Vince and the WWE. ” Vince is the constant. He’s the standard of excellence. I just love watching his show because you never know what he is going to do. Plus, the production — you can’t even touch his production. It’s so dialed-in. It’s amazing just to see how they put the pieces together.”

“TNA is lacking that one momentum-shifting move, that one big name that would even the playing field, the brand (that is) just as powerful as the WWE brand. (TNA’s) lacking the big piece of the puzzle. It wouldn’t matter who did what in the past. It will be a totally even playing field. You never know.”

Mr. Ken Anderson- Also known as Mr. Kennedy… repeat… has been posting some rather funny videos about his 90 day no compete clause. I can vouch that they are indeed funny as fuck. Why the hell WWE held this guy down is a mystery, he’s an entertaining guy. They should have let him be himself.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fq-t12M6Ko

Its funny how well produced these videos are. Too funny. I wonder who is producing them? Hmmm. If I’m dead wrong about this all being some huge farce and Kennedy is still with the WWE, he’s going to surely give TNA a ratings boost. I think he has what it takes to take TNA to that next level in a couple of years. That is, unless he injures himself upon his debut.

Speaking of people who like to injure themselves, if you ever needed a good reason why Candice Michelle was fired, then maybe there’s more to it than just her being a horrible, accident prone wrestler? Take a look. I’d say case closed. The wall was thoroughly hit.

Alright! The moment maybe two people have been waiting for!

I’ve been sitting on this blog for months and months, because basically it’s not an easy subject to research. I’ve been waiting for a while to talk about wrestlers who show some mental aptitude and possibly be of high intelligence. I wanted to show the contrary of society’s general view that most wrestlers are big stupid morons that are prone to violence and eat babies. In fact, the irony is that wrestling FANS tend to be the dimwitted yokels that have the stench of being inbred. I wish I was exaggerating when I say this. I’ve met a ton of fans that fit this description to perfection. Wrestlers, for the most part appear to be… well smart.

To be honest, there are quite a few wrestlers with some form of higher education. There’s so many that I had to change the direction of this blog to only include the most surprising of the lot. It seems that the majority of the WWE have at least spent time in college, came from a colligate background or graduated with a degree of some kind. This should make total sense being that Vince seems to get off on bringing former popular sports players into his company. It feels like everyone that comes to the WWE played Basketball or Football in college.

I’m going to start with some of the not too surprising minds in the industry and then try and build up to the ones that are just plain shocking- To me at least.

Mickie James

James has received her Associate of Arts degree in business administration and is studying for her Bachelor of Arts degree in operations management.

This isn’t the most surprising news in any way, but I find it hard to believe that some unknown porn star and stripper who now plays a character of pretty average intelligence is actually very bright. Even stranger, she had a normal life. Raised on a farm, owned horses for years and so on. That doesn’t fit the description I’ve heard of most girl’s lives that end up showing off their tits and snatch for cash.

Michelle McCool

McCool received her Master’s degree in Educational leadership from Florida State University.

Master’s degree? Yup, that’s our impressive McCool. She was always touted as being a big female jock, but she’s actually a geek. She joins a list of wrestlers that used to be teachers as well. She was also smart enough to steal the Undertaker from his wife, as we know Taker is seen as the locker room leader. So McCool’s push in the WWE lately has been as big as a Diva can get. She’s currently the first ever women to be the Diva’s champ and the Women’s champ.

Matt Striker

Striker used to be a teacher, a social studies teacher. You can’t teach without at least a Bachelor’s degree and they have to pass a test in the subject they choose to teach and usually need some sort of post-baccalaureate degree or training in education. When Striker’s not showing off his quite impressive intelligence while doing color commentary for ECW, he’s showing off his penis on the internet to his male “friends”. I guess being highly intelligent doesn’t keep you from doing stupid shit. So there’s hope for me after all.

Consequences Creed

Watson graduated from Furman University with two degrees a Bachelor of Arts in psychology and philosophy on June 10, 2008.

This guy is no dummy. He’s also not in the WWE; Creed tells us that most of the boys are not dummies either. “People think we are a bunch of big, dumb jocks,” Watson, 22, of Marietta, protested politely. “A lot of the guys have gone to college and have degrees.” That’s refreshing to hear. All these brilliant men making 50 bucks a night in high school gyms because they LOVE rolling around on the mat with other men.

Kamala

Yes, the “Ugandan Giant” Kamala. Did you know that Kamala can call himself “Doctor” legally?

You see Kamala received an honorary doctorate from the University of Arkansas. He may have never studied a book in his life, as I have yet to find anything about Kamala’s education, but I do know that Universities tend to hand out these doctorates after intense voting and deliberation. At least I hope they do. Of course he can’t practice medicine or whatever other things real doctors do, but this does mean that Kamala’s not the dumb fucking animal he always portrayed.

Mick Foley

I can’t really have this list without adding Mick even tho he almost didn’t make it. It was hard tracking down any formal education at all, there’s nothing on any of his bios or Wikipedia pages or anything. But I found something that saved his ass. “Mick began wrestling in high school and, while earning a communications degree from the State University of New York at Cortland, joined an independent wrestling circuit in 1986, grappling in armories and parking lots and making as little as $10 a night.” If I didn’t find that, it would have had me wondering why the hell he’s going around talking to little kids about the importance of education.

Foley has for a long time been talked of highly for his mental acumen. He’s penned two bestselling books with no ghost writer, he’s sold number one children’s books, he’s developed his own characters over the years in wrestling and he’s just a very smart fella. I wish some of these brains could make me enjoy his run in TNA.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Duggan earned his bachelors degree in applied plant biology. After college, Duggan was signed by the Atlanta Falcons of the NFL, but was released after being plagued by knee injuries.

Two things I didn’t know about ol’ Hacksaw. For someone who I’ve NEVER seen break the character of being the biggest retard in WWE history, this guy is actually competent. Real competent. I also didn’t know he was in the NFL. I remember watching him as a kid; we always made fun of him out of love. His snarling, drooling war chanting persona, his 2 by 4, his USA chants and somehow he always ended up with snot on his mustache. I’m actually more pleased to learn how good he was at football than the fact that he has a B.A.

Kane

Kane said in an interview that he did in fact study to be a teacher, but never became one. This is contrary to the wild rumors that he was a teacher. Who knows… or cares what the truth is? All I know is having a near 7 foot, half bald teacher with two different colored eyes would have been awesome. I always imagine wrestlers in their ring attire at all times.

Beth Phoenix

As we learned on WWE’s website, Beth Phoenix has a degree in criminal justice with the initial intentions of becoming a lawyer. Impressive– Even more impressive is how she manages to look so massive on TV but is only 5 foot 6 in reality. Still taller than Mysterio.

Raven

Doesn’t get much smarter than this. Can’t really make a list like this without Raven topping it. You just don’t get much smarter than a Mensa member. Scott Levy is a member of the most exclusive high IQ club in the world. Other than that, I can’t find anything about his education.

That’s all for tonight, as usual proofreading will be done later. OOOH BAM!! *SLAPS TITS*

Cheerio,

Kut

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