Kut & Pasted News 23

Jun 16, 2009 in Kut and Pasted News, lolwrestling by Kut

: Image via Wikipedia

After watching this pointless 3 hour, Raw, I had a few thoughts. Well, maybe not pointless. I think Vince’s goal was to boost the ratings and maybe 3 hour shows do a little better or something? I don’t feel like researching that.

TRUMP OWNS RAW

Donald Trump now “owns” Raw. I gotta admit, it’s not exactly what I was expecting- But it’s also not as retarded as it initially seems. We all knew Vince was going to be doing something to shake up this show. The ratings haven’t been the best lately, TNA grows ever so slowly while Raw dwindles many weeks on a meltdown.

While the fans were shouting “WOOOOO” because they assumed Flair was paying millions for Raw for some cuntbrained reason, I was thinking “Austin” for my own dumb ass reasons.

So Vince threw everyone for a loop by bringing The Don into the picture. I mean, who was honestly expecting this? How much time does Donny really have to invest into this little project of Vince’s? It can’t be that much being he didn’t even bother to show up tonight.

By the way, totally unrelated but I didn’t want to forget. Does it make anyone else a little bit uncomfortable when Randy does this new “orgasmic” look after he does something naughty? Yeah. So.

Anyways, Trump is obviously being paid sitcom fees to do this, because frankly the man has better things to do than charity work for the WWE. Smart move all around in my eyes. I’ll tell ya why.

Trump is quite an amazing talker and he possess the unique ability to make you despise or embrace him no matter how nice he is. In other words, no matter what he says or does, you care. Admit it.

Trump may not be pro-wrestling savvy, but he knows how to get someone’s attention and no amount of money can buy that talent. Trump is ALWAYS in the news. ALWAYS. He was just in the news for this Miss America or Miss USA or whatever bimbo-thon he owns last week.

Trump has something Vince will NEVER, EVER have; The ability to run successful businesses that are not wrestling related. Trump has 24 hour access to the media, they live for this guy. They wait with baited breath to see what stunt Trump is going to pull.

So now Vince has an official ace in the hole. Will this work? Time will tell, but it’s going to surely boost the ratings and I’m willing to put a few nickles down on that bet. TNA could never do anything on this level. Not anytime soon at least. The most TNA can do is pay a few B movie actors and wrestlers that nobody wants to see to show up. Not Donald Trump.

Trump brings me to another thought.

THE RETURN OF KENNEDY? kennedy.

As I said on my forums:

So The Don “owns” Raw now, which honestly is a GOOD shake up. At the very least it’s not McMahon related and Don is a very interesting guy that transcends wrestling. So there will be some outside coverage.

Next week, Raw is commercial free, which is going to be totally boring for at least an hour.

It’s also in Greenbay. Which is where Kennedy is billed from if I’m not mistaken.

Vince talks on the phone to Trump and wants to make some announcement. Vince said something like “You want him packed?”.

My heart jumped because it sounded like Vince said “You want him back?”

So either way I’m thinking. What if this whole ridiculous firing was just some sort of Russoesque swerve crap. Maybe Vince wanted to play us? Why is Kennedy so seemingly unfazed? Even happy and joking around since he was fired.

We all know Kennedy’s return wasn’t that great. Maybe he’s getting a quick re-do because he was just a little rusty?

Just something to think about.

Not impossible to imagine. Maybe I’m just a dreamer, but I’d like to see Kennedy get an honest shot. This whole bullshit about him being some sort of danger to others is just plain… well bullshit. Bobby Lashley said it best.

“If somebody says that (Kennedy worked too stiff), I think they need to get a reality check, man. We’re wrestlers, we’re not dancers. We’re not children. If someone touches you a little harder in a friggin’ wrestling match and you go crying about it, that’s ridiculous. I’ve been punched in the face, kicked, I’ve been hammered left and right by several different people. I never went crying and said, ‘Oh, he hit me too hard.’ That’s just part of the business of wrestling. It ain’t volleyball. It ain’t tee-ball. They’re grown men, most of which being well conditioned grown men… I had several matches with Kennedy and I never left the match and said, ‘Oh, man, you hit me too hard.’ I liked the way he worked. I didn’t think he was too stiff. I worked a lot of people who are top guys that are a lot stiffer than him. Some of the veterans would even say that they work a little snugger out there. It kind of helps. I don’t mind if someone works stiff with me because it helps me react a little better. It helps me get into the match a little more.”

Of course, I giggle uncontrollably while imaging him speaking in his little whiny girl voice. Bobby said what we were all thinking, that this whole thing was stupid and an insult to our intelligence. I find it hard to see Orton going running to Vince to cry about someone ALMOST injuring him. Seriously? Isn’t EVERY FUCKING MOVE ALMOST INJURING SOMEONE? Isn’t that sort of the point? To appear to injure someone without actually doing it, by coming REALLY fucking close?

So we should be good with Kennedy coming just a little bit too close for Orton? So he goes and whines for Ken to be fired, I assume Batista goes and whines too. However, Batista has put out quite a few top stars himself. Recently, the BIGGEST fucking star, John Cena with a monstrously sloppy powerbomb.

I stick with my story. I say Kennedy is coming back soon. Maybe REAL soon.

Or I’m dead wrong. Which 99% of the time, I am. Sometimes. Moving on.

VICKIE TELLS US HOW IT T.I.IS.

Not Vickie Gurer…gurroe…gurroeoe… Vickie G. But Victoria or now known as whore 11 on TNA. Or Tera or something, who cares. Not to trash Vick, she’s actually one of the more talented women in the industry. Plus I’d happily bang her on the side.

I try not to respond to rumors. It’s a lose-lose situation. If you don’t respond, it seems like you may be avoiding the rumor because it is true. If you deny it, you are bringing more attention to a lie. Well, in this case I’m gonna respond. A MySpace friend emailed me yesterday to let me know that a wrestling gossip website is claiming that they have an anonymous source or sources that say I was Chris Benoit’s secret mistress at the time of his murder-suicide. First let me say, this is absolutely false. I invite the “reporter” from that website to come to my home city, and I will submit myself to a polygraph. If this website is at all concerned with the truth, they should jump at the opportunity. But frankly, I think they are just concerned about sensational headlines, and couldn’t care less about the facts behind it.

And the timing sure is conspicuous.Years after the event, but hours before my TNA wrestling debut. Could it be that a certain wrestling organization is concerned about what kind of impact that I will make in TNA? And what kind of coward would make such a powerful claim, and hide in the shadows of anonymity. Come forward. Legitimize your claim.

I have made every effort to move on and take the high road. The worst thing that I have said is that I wanted a different role. Believe me, in nine years with that organization, I have been aware of behavior so deviant that it would shock the devil himself. But as the old saying goes, the only thing certain about a mudslinging contest is that everyone gets dirty.

And finally, let me say this. To spread a lie like this hurts the survivors of a tragedy that already have gone through immeasurable suffering. Although it doesn’t excuse his behavior, studies on Chris Benoit’s brain after his death showed severe damage from years of wrestling-related injuries. That, mixed with mood and hormone altering drugs led to a horrible outcome. Before that, as we all have heard, he was very dedicated to his family. Don’t drag these victims and their families through vicious lies for the sake of attempting to take the wind out of my sails.

Again, I think the website that first posted this should feel obligated to come out here and polygraph me. Stand by your story.

But in the end, all you’ve done is hurt some innocent people with lies, and frankly, pissed me off, and motivated me to make TNA as good a product as I can.

Lisa Marie Varon
TARA is RIZING

This was in response to a rumor that she was being banged by Chris Benoit before he went all “Chris Benoit” on his family. I don’t have a problem mentioning the alleged guy’s name who made it all up. Hell, I used to BE that guy once ago when I wrote for Lethal. Daniel Pena of Lordsofpain.net. I’m sure the guy couldn’t care less. He’s probably loving all the high level attention. Well, I don’t do the “shock jock” bit anymore, so more power to him. It’s nice to do that type of thing when you’re young and have nothing better to do with your life. When you have a wife and kids and bills, pissing off other people with families just doesn’t seem like that much fun anymore. I assume he’s no more than 25, I have to. I can’t see a 30 or older person making up stupid stories about pro-wrestlers just for shits and giggles. It’s just so… infantile.

Speaking of adult infants.

BRET HART GETS NEW BOO

Bret, long removed from his past wife, Shawn Michaels, is now happily re-married. I guess. Bret has a new shoulder to cry on and blame stuff on Vince with. Good for him.

brethartlove001

STYLES CLASH

The other Styles, with an S. I would talk in length about this, but I don’t really care what some web editor has to say. He’ s been doing the typical puppet of right crap by calling Obama all kinds of horrible names on Twitter. You can Google them if you want to see all the details or go to Twitter @ wwejoeystyles

What I find funny is he’s saying all these nasty things but his name on Twitter has WWE in it. Nice.

Yeah, sure people trashed the hell out of Bush, hourly. But can we give Obama a SECOND TO UN FUCKING PACK HIS LUGGAGE before calling him the next dictator? I mean fuck, Dubya spent the better part of two years in a fucking fishing hole during his first term. Plus Bush can’t and refuses to read.

Note, I’m not a huge Obama supporter, but let’s give the guy a year before we call him a failure. He hasn’t had time to do shit yet. He’s spending our money… he’s a socialist. Yeah, at this point I’d kind of like to be in the shoes of the French with the way shit is going here. You can honestly shove that socialist garbage up your ass, Styles, I’ll take socialism if it means food, healthcare and freedom. None of these fucking dunces even know what socialism really is, they take Fox News reports and start making comparisons to German Nazis and run with it. Whatever.

Is what we had under Bush freedom? Yeah. Right.

I think that will do it for me tonight. I’ll spell-check later, wife’s birthday. lol

Cheerio,

Kut