Years ago, I wrote a column for Lethal Wrestling. I won’t get into the habit of re-posting them because they are listed in the archives (for now) at lethalwrestling.com.
About 6 minutes in, Hurricane comments about seeing Rocky’s tiny pecker.
Well, I don’t really know exactly when this happened, or exactly what brought this exchange between Rocky and Hurri about The size of The Rock’s penis, or lack thereof. But once I saw this on Youtube, I KNEW I had to have come across the minds of WWE “creative” at some point. I mean, seriously.
Here’s an excerpt from my column that was “RE POSTED” back in September of 2002. I have no idea when I wrote this originally. Could have been as much as a year or two because it was re posted as a “klassic”.
SHOCKING news about The ROCK. I have CONCLUSIVE PROOF!!!
Written by KUT!
Fans, as a highly professional and respected Internet Journalist who writes in-depth articles and hilarious pro-wrestling satire I have a duty to report any and all news that I come across online.
Editor Translation: We find something cool on accident (while surfing for porn) that we think will piss someone off or make them laugh and cut and paste it here!
No matter how much it may discredit the individual, we as hardcore Journalists must report any breaking news because the fans have a right to know.
Editor Translation: We find something stupid or embarrassing that a wrestler has done and exploit it until they visit our site and try to sue.
I have conclusive evidence that Duane Johnson or much better known as “The Rock” has not only a small- but the smallest penis in the WWF locker room . This was found in an article by ‘Slammer’ from WrestleNet.com. Apparently The Rock did an interview with [George Wayne] from [Vanity Fair] magazine where his hard-hitting approach to journalism is asking men about their penis size. Here is an excerpt from that article.
G.W.: … Rumor has it that you have the smallest jockstrap in wrestling.
T.R.: Someone who has given you that information is taking you for a long ride.
G.W.: Not everything about The Rock is abnormally huge.
T.R.: Well, they don’t call me The Rock for nothing.
G.W.: Yeah, right. According to sources, The Rock has the smallest member in pro wrestling.
T.R.: That’s completely untrue. I can give you a whole bunch of names and you can go ask them, but then I’d get in trouble. But you’ve got me in trouble enough, you son of a bitch.
Well that wasn’t good enough for RoughKut. I wanted to talk to the Rock himself! I tried to contact him by email but he won’t respond of course so I asked one of my sources, and you would be surprised who has the AOL instant messenger. I got a hold of The Rock’s agent and tried to conduct an AIM interview.
R 0 u g h K u t: Hello, I’m a reporter for
[omitted]. I’d like to
request an interview with Duane
[Name Withheld]: [omitted] who?
R 0 u g h K u t: [omitted], the
most visited Internet Wrestling site
[Name Withheld]: I’m afraid we’ll have to do a background
check on this [omitted] before we even begin to
[Name Withheld]: That could take months
R 0 u g h K u t: Well, it’s concerning his
reputation as “The Rock”
[Name Withheld]: As “The Most Electrifying Man in Sports
R 0 u g h K u t: No, as “The Rock” so to
[Name Withheld]: I fail to see any humor in that. Please
R 0 u g h K u t: What if I said “Pretty
please with sugar on top”?
[Name Withheld]: I’m sorry but the answer remains no.
R 0 u g h K u t: Well maybe I could ask
you a quick question to save his
reputation as “The Rock”?
[Name Withheld]: Sure why not.
R 0 u g h K u t: I have found conclusive
evidence through my sources that say
“The Rock” has the smallest penis in the
WWF locker room. Is this true?
[Name Withheld]: No comment.
R 0 u g h K u t: If so you can’t morally
call him “The Rock” now can you?
R 0 u g h K u t: Hello?
R 0 u g h K u t: Hello?
[Name Withheld]: Duane Johnson’s penis size has
absolutely nothing to do with the moniker “The Rock.” It was
never an issue, nor will it ever.
R 0 u g h K u t: Well you at least have to
change his last name. If he has a small
pecker you can’t call him Rocky
[Name Withheld]: His name isn’t Rocky Johnson. That’s his
father’s name. His wrestling name is “The Rock”.
R 0 u g h K u t: So you are confirming
that he has a small Johnson?
[Name Withheld]: No comment, sir.
R 0 u g h K u t: You’ve seen it haven’t
you. Come’on tell the truth.
[Name Withheld]: No Comment!
R 0 u g h K u t: Is it as silly as his
[Name Withheld]: Sir this conversation has become
disturbing. Is there anything else you wish to ask? How about
where to buy some “The Rock” merchandise?
R 0 u g h K u t: Can I buy his tiny jock
And there you have it folks… what do you think?
Amendd… amed… amened… updated from here:
I don’t watch SNL anymore. I heard about The Rock hosting and doing some kind of great Obama thing. Didn’t care at the time to watch.
I had NO idea what I missed out on. The Rock dressing in drag, doing a Broadway type musical, prancing around the SNL stage in true queer fashion.
He’s been suspect for years, of being a pro-wrestler and we all know pro-wrestling is in no way gay. But this just kind of blurs that line for me.
Don’t forget the whole Hannah Montana drag out… I also failed to watch this…
Seriously, what the dick Rocky?