Well, I guess it’s been long enough. Time for another K&P! Hold your applause.

It’s been a long month. Well, it’s actually been a short month, especially being a leap year and all. But last month was a long month! I had a bad ankle sprain, which lasted well over two weeks and still hurts. The doctor said it might be gout. I’m like “WTF is “gout”, doc? After I had to explain what W. T. F. meant, she in turn, explained that gout is a buildup of hair and coagulated grease clogging up my drains. At least that’s what it sounded like she said. Gout sounds like something you have to chisel out of a pipe. I hate work clinics.

Anyways, I feel pretty good, other than the searing pain in my ankle. I’ve been a snorer for as long as I can remember and after 4 years of getting elbows in my kidneys from the wife, I decided to go to a sleep clinic. Really, I am a pathetic excuse for a blogger, I should have taken photos and documented the whole thing, but I’ll just have to rely on my horrible memory. I’ll get to that later.

Turns out, I have sleep apnea. As the nurse who gives you the news told me over the phone, “You have fucking a severe sleeping disorder and you’re gonna die!” Well, I kind of pushed her to admit that the problem is fatal, and it can be. It was like getting that call for cancer patients. My first thought: YES!!! I finally had something! After years of being accused of being a hypochondriac, now I have something to rub in people’s face! Now, the next party I go to and someone says, “Hey, I have a kidney disease.” And everyone feels all sorry for them- I get to say “I can DIE in my sleep!” and I wouldn’t necessarily be lying! It could happen. That’d be cool.

Apnea has other little Easter eggs. It explains my well before my time memory loss. It explains why I don’t give a crap about anything. It explains why I tend to be a prick most of the time. There’s a literal cavalcade of symptoms and risks. I can use it for anything! I feel like Cartman on Southpark when he claimed to have tourret’s. Well, maybe I’m going overboard.

But seriously, I was told I stop breathing 100 times an hour in my sleep. That can cause some things like an early stroke, which would seriously suck. It can also cause high blood pressure and all kinds of nasty things, but my main concern was the whole “never sleeping” thing. My days run on pure adrenaline and when I get home, I’m done. Not a bit of energy to do anything. I don’t sleep until 4-5 in the morning and that’s mostly waking up every half hour and waking up for the most part at 8ish. So, long story short, they give me this sleeping machine (CPAP) that forces Katrina like winds up my nostrils and makes me sound like Darth Vader, except I can’t talk in the sexy baritone voice, because my nose will lock up and the air will come rushing out of my mouth.
photo credit: ~Twon~

So far, I do feel my senses coming back. I don’t feel that euphoric “great morning” thing that people have been blasting about. Sometimes, I wake up and feel great. Sometimes, I still feel crumby. But I no longer feel like I’m dragging my feet all day. It’s supposed to be a few months before I start to regain my memory and other mental issues, but so far so good.

With all these fat-boy problems, you’d think I weighed 400 pounds or something. I AM a big fella, but nothing out of the ordinary, at least I think. I did pack on a few pounds after a slipped disk, but whatever.

Well, enough about my fascinating life. Let’s talk about some sports entertainin’.

Did Jericho have to choke a bitch?

Serious Jerry lived up to his name when he shoved and pushed his way through a group of rowdy fans in Victoria. Going by the many accounts, he was already being hated on when he left the building and was not allowed to leave the area because the fans were blocking him. So he gets out of his minivan and opens up a can of whoop-ass on some chick who spit in his face for whatever reason. Then some dudes jumped in and got tossed around, then security jumped in and got tossed around. Jericho must be one hell of a bad-ass not have ended up in the hospital that day.

As I’ve said on the forums, if the videos and fan accounts are accurate, Jerry was right for defending himself. I don’t care if it’s a girl or not, if you feel like men shouldn’t hit women, then women shouldn’t attack and spit on men. I’m not an advocate of violence against women; I feel women are delicate and should be treated as such. But the moment some bitch gets all in my face with those fingers and pushing and hitting, I’m going to lay the smack down. I’m not saying I’m going to beat her up, ala Chris Brown. But I will shove her ass to the ground or whatever I have to do. I mean, what else? Sit there and get bruised up by some raving broad because of high moral standards? Hell no! There’s nothing to prove by beating up someone who can’t beat you. But you don’t sit there and let some chicken-head slap you around either.

I stand behind you, Jerry. Even though you’ve been somewhat of a cunt the last few years, I back you on this one, bud.

Then there’s the chick, probably the same chick screaming “CAN I JUST TAKE A PHOTO WITH UUUUU?” I’ve never seen such an act in my life. She was obviously putting on a show, knowing this would end up on YouTube and making Jericho out to be a mega asshole.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci1ww2k2fa8

Make note of the guy yelling obscenities right next to her.

Then some girl, probably the same one screaming for a photo, says “He punched a girl, nah nah nah nah nah”. How many times did that same girl hit Jericho first? I counted three. That includes the spit, which many fans have said she did. I’d probably have done the same thing, especially when there’s a bunch of maniacs around me all screaming for my blood.

I absolutely LOVE the fact that these security guards are literally doing nothing. There’s a ton of them too- Some with blue shirts, some with yellow jackets, all doing nothing to stop the fans from causing all this commotion.

Here’s a slightly different angle.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx6exr7yVws

And another.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8heZhmF2Rg

I think it speaks for itself, really.

TNA mixing it up.

So after another disappointing rating, which isn’t totally bad because it’s been unchanged for months, TNA decides to shake things up. What do they do?
photo credit: daysofthundr46

********Spoiler alert*********

FIRE PETEY WILLIAMS.

*******END SPOILER*********

The guy with actual wrestling skills and a sick finisher gets the boot, and they think rehashing WCW storylines is what the fans want. They think bringing in old, has-been wrestlers have them take over the show is what’s going to make the win. These wrestlers, while one could argue got TNA’s ratings where they are haven’t done anything to make them grow beyond the silly 1.1 that pops up almost every week. They lost a decimal after the “take over” by the Main Event Mafia show made people turn the channel. But they went back up a notch back to the same 1.1 they’ve been getting for months.

So what’s the next move? They are rumored to be hiring Stevie Richards, the poor man’s HBK. Sorry, but Stevie has had countless chances to get over and hasn’t. He’s not going to change anything for TNA. He’s now injury prone, even worse speaking with his throat injury and he’s old.

TNA, please pay attention. WCW DIED A MISERABLE DEATH YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES! Why! Why? Why are you insisting on giving us not only shit we’ve seen before, but shit that didn’t work the first time! What happened to the formula you promised us? What happened to wrestling? What happened to the X-division? Bah, I’m beating a dead horse.

We were going in the right direction with Christian Cage being the “new” era of Champions. I admit, he got stale but that’s normal. So what do you do? Bring in Angle. Which was cool for a while, until we got to see what a prick he really is. Then Sting, Nash, Booker T, Foley, and so on. We all believed in you. We believed Booker T and Foley would mix things up. Nothing happened. Foley is a stupid General Manager type again, Booker T is a lackey again, Sting is a preachy cheerleader and a lackey again… Oh fuck it.

Victoria retires

I know this is old news, but if you come here for news, then who’s the dummy? You come here for my opinions.
photo credit: Snerkie

I like the divas. They are smarter than the guys. They get what they can out of the business and when it’s too much, they let it go. You don’t see divas going well into their 50s… well wait. Mae Young is a rare exception. She comes from a time when wrestling was a man’s world.

Good luck Victoria! One of the few females in the WWE that made us care about the divas at all.

The divas are bullet dodgers. They don’t seem to get wrapped up in the drugs and “heart attacks” that plague the sport. But they work just as hard and get injured more. Funny, eh? Rare exceptions like Elizabeth and Sherri have made the news.

John Cena stands on his Rocky comments.

John Cena has become less of a wrestler (Sport Entertainer) and more of a spokesman and PR boy for the WWE. All of his speeches are less edgy and more like a male cheerleader, who puts over even his biggest foes these days. He even began sounding like Obama with his soaring and fleeting soap-boxing. Cena is a tool, literally a tool now. He has lost all of his originality and his edge that made him popular in the first place. He brought back the Hulk Hogan babyface of the 80s and that’s not a good thing for us hardcore fans.

Finally, the WWE with their new “family friendly” crap. (Actually it’s not new) got rid of the last redeeming feature of what we used to love about Cena. He no longer calls his finish the “FU”. It’s the “attitude adjuster” now. Brilliant. Now it’s officially a kid’s show. No more bra and panties matches, not that I’ll miss them. No more ass and bitch comments. Nothing.

But he did manage to say something mildly non-toolish about The Rock:

No. I don’t want to say that you misread it; I may have been misquoted. What I actually said, and I’ll stand true to it to this today, I don’t even care, is that here’s a guy who, when he was with the WWE, pounded his chest that he really loved the WWE, and that wasn’t the truth. The truth is that Dwayne Johnson is a great actor and I think always wanted to be an actor, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s like an athlete saying, “Hey, I don’t do drugs,” and then getting busted for drugs. It’s not the truth. I mean here’s a guy who said he was WWE through and through, and then the first chance to take a road to a different career path, he took it. There’s nothing wrong with that. Dwayne’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. He’s one of the hardest workers you’ll ever meet, and he certainly is a great actor. The roadblock that I have, because I certainly am in love with this business and I don’t see myself leaving it any time, is when someone says that and then leaves, it cheapens our business. If he’s going to say that, then back your word. That’s the only beef that I have and that’s what I told the people at The U.K. Sun. It just cheapens that phrase: “Oh, I love this business.” So then next time I come up and say I love this business, well, the guy before me who said that left. That doesn’t look good for me or our business.

In an interview, Cena said The Rock is a phony in so many words. I agree. I think The Rock did what was best and smart for him, but it was also selfish in a way. Yeah, yeah, making millions doing movies is better than killing your body 300 days a year. I know. The Rock was the symbol of Pro-Wrestling in his peak. He also left during his peak. He’s not coming back any time soon either. He’s had a string of number-1-hit movies, consecutively. He’s a draw and he knows it. So what did he do? He completely divorced pro-wrestling. He won’t even come make a fucking appearance in the ring anymore. Only publicity visits to the hall of fame awards. He can’t come back to do one single match? That’s shitty to me. He divorced the business that made him.

Now that his movie career is pretty much locked, he’s never going to come back to the WWE? I doubt that. I think once Rocky has gotten stale as most action heroes do, he’ll come running back. I think Rocky will be just like the Van Dams and Steven Segals and Dolphs and so on. There are only so many roles for a shiny smiling football player, or a body guard or a bad-ass babysitting navy seal and all the shitty roles he’ll end up with. The tooth fairy? Race to Witch mountain? A cartoon voice? Yeah, good money but will this ever make you a respectable actor? I don’t see it.

Did anyone manage to see him on the Grammy awards? He looks out of place with the Hollywood crowd and always will be treated and seen as a wrestler.

EDGE WOW!

Well, not news but doesn’t Edge look like Vince from ShamWOW?

Yes. Yes he does. Creepy eyes and everything. Fucking Edge…. anyways.

There’s probably more news, but I’m le’ tired.

Cheerio,

Kut

(Would it kill ya to post a comment? I miss those things)

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Chris Jericho, John Cena, Pro Wrestling